Jennifer Garner opens up about separation from Ben Affleck

Jennifer Garner has opted to not hold back about her marriage and subsequent separation from actor Ben Affleck, revealing a rich amount of details in the March issue of Vanity Fair.

The couple had announced their separation in June 2015 shortly after their 10-year anniversary. Now the 43-year-old actress was upfront about the good and bad times she experienced over the years. This included talks about a circulating rumor that Affleck was sleeping with the family’s 28-year-old nanny, Christine Ouzounian.

“We had been separated for months before I ever heard about the nanny. She had nothing to do with our decision to divorce. She was not a part of the equation. Bad judgment? Yes,” Garner told Vanity Fair, having to also talk to her children about the sensitive situation. “I have had to have conversations about the meaning of ‘scandal.’”

Garner has gradually stayed out of the spotlight since the public separation to reflect on where she currently stands. “I just won’t do it anymore. I took a silent oath with myself last summer to really stay offline. I am totally clueless about all of it.”

She continued, “It hurts me so much, and I care so much… I cannot be driven by the optics of this. I cannot let anger or hurt be my engine. I need to move with the big picture always on my mind, and the kids first and foremost.”

Despite having to manage through the aftermath, Garner does not regret having married the 43-year-old actor back in 2005. “I didn’t marry the big fat movie star; I married him. …And I would go back and remake that decision. I ran down the beach to him, and I would again. You can’t have these three babies and so much of what we had. He’s the love of my life. What am I going to do about that?”

As of now, Garner looks forward to moving on and getting past “the pity stage,” as she explained, while acknowledging that it is not Affleck’s job to make her happy.